These notes were smuggled out of last year’s Annual Meeting of the FBI Secret Society, a shadowy organization acknowledged by disgraced FBI agent Peter Strzok and confirmed by an informant to Wisconsin Senator Ron Johnson, as told to Fox News.
Many Bothans died to acquire these notes. Please ensure they make it into the right hands.
FBI SECRET SOCIETY ANNUAL MEETING 2017 – SANDALS RESORT III, SECRET ANTARCTIC BASE, DESKO MOUNTAIN, ROTHSCHILD ISLAND, ANTARCTICA
9 AM – Continental Breakfast
10 AM – Opening Remarks and Spirit Cooking – James Comey, former Director
11:30 AM – Session 1: How Deep State is Your Love: How to Bring Up Your Children and Keep Your Marriage Fun While Also Overthrowing the Legally Elected Government
1 PM – Endangered Species Lunch
2:30 PM – Session 2: Releasing Your Inner Memo: Keeping Secrets, Leaking Secrets, and How to Know the Difference
3:30 PM – Session 3: Forgot About Trey (Gowdy): When Pesky Republicans Get In Your Way, Here’s How You Eliminate Them (Black bag, yes! Death by mortar, no!)
5 PM – Cocktails
6 PM – Dinner, with Performances by The John Podesta Kidz
8 PM – Informal Evening Session: Theme: Acid Washed Emails and How to Bury ‘Em Real Good
9 PM – Ice Cream Social and Blood Sacrifice
11:30 PM – “Club Night” with George Soros
9 AM – Waffle Breakfast
10 AM – Breakout Session: What Are YOU Doing to Move the Deep State Coup Forward?
11 AM – Session 4: These Conspiracy Theorists Are Making Me Thirsty: Dealing With Woke Redpillers, Anonymous Trolls, and Gun-Toting Mouth Breathing Reddit Dwellers
12:30 PM – “Ethnic” Lunch
2 PM – Keynote Speaker: Tiffany Trump Tells All
3:30 – Break
4 PM – Session 5: FBI 2.0: How to Use Drones, Sonic Weapons, Lasers, Space Dust, and Cyberwar to Harass Religious Americans
5:30 PM – Awards, Accomplishments, Milestones. Did you delete the most text messages? Pwn the most patriotic conservatives on Twitter? Let’s hear about it!
6:30 PM – Pizza and Hot Dogs Dinner (heh heh)
8 PM – Poker Tournament! First Prize, Two-Year Term as President of Federal Reserve Bank
8 PM – Spa Night (ladies only, please)
10 PM – Secret Circle and Pinneal Gland Eating
9 AM – Breakfast, Danish and Coffee
10 AM – Business Card Exchange
11 AM – Closing Remarks, Secret Actual President Barack Obama
12 PM – Black Helicopters back to mainland
PLEASE NEVER SHARE THESE NOTES WITH ANYONE, OR THE DEEP STATE WILL BE BROUGHT DOWN. THANK YOU.