2020 Conspiracy Theories: The One With Joe Biden’s College Roommate

As part of what’s sure to be a long, brutal, insanely divisive 2020 presidential campaign between Donald Trump and the eventual Democratic nominee, conspiracy theories are already emerging about the top liberal frontrunners. And the first target for the churn of right wing plots, fake hit jobs, and hysterical rumors is Joe Biden.

The former vice president is leading Democratic polling, but only with about a third of the vote. He’s also run a fairly lazy and outmoded campaign, relying on wishful thinking that Republicans will come to their senses and throw Trump under the bus – along with a good deal of old school tactile politics. It’s that reputation (earned or not) of Biden as a handsy, touchy creep that’s powering the first big Biden conspiracy theory: that his college roommate went on the record with a bombshell that Biden has admitted to being sexually attracted to children.

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No, Hillary Clinton Did Not Kill Her Brother. Just Stop.

On Saturday morning, Hillary Clinton announced via Twitter that her brother, 65-year-old Tony Rodham, had died on Friday night. Details were scant, and no cause of death was announced, but it was clear from her tweet that Secretary Clinton was heartbroken over the loss of her younger sibling.

In a surprising show of maturity and consideration, far right conservatives laid off Mrs. Clinton, paying respects to her and her family, and giving them the space to grieve this shocking loss.

Nah, I’m kidding, they pretty much all said she did it. No, really.

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Linda Collins-Smith: Did the Clinton Death List Just Get One Name Longer?

Earlier this week, former Arkansas state senator Linda Collins-Smith, 57, was found dead of a gunshot wound in her home. As with most incidents like this, local news was the first to break the story, with conflicting reports about when Collins-Smith was found, the state of her body, and whether she was found wrapped in a blanket or not. Local police have said little, merely that they’re investigating it as a homicide, and a judge issued a gag order preventing the release of medical or legal documents related to the death.

While Collins-Smith’s death is obviously a tragedy for her family and friends, it’s also not the kind of story that would have any real impact on today’s frenetic news cycle. She had a fairly short political career, and her biggest claim to fame as an elected official was authoring a failed anti-trans “bathroom bill” similar to the one that North Carolina passed and immediately regretted.

Oh, and she was a conspiracy theorist who pushed trans panic, sanctuary city hysteria, and at least once retweeted a Gateway Pundit article about the debunked anti-Trump “Spygate” conspiracy. Her biggest dip into the fever swamp came a few months ago when she made an appearance on 24/7 QAnon-themed YouTube Channel “Patriots Soapbox.”

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Can President-For-Life Trump Actually Happen?

The mainstream media and liberal pundits have written an entire library of stories and tweet threads speculating on what happens if Donald Trump loses the 2020 election but doesn’t give up power willingly, or if he declares himself president for life and dares the cowards and boot-lickers in Congress to do something about it.

He’ll either refuse to concede, whip up a popular insurrection, sabotage the electoral college, or simply barricade himself in the Oval Office and order a ring of steel set up to protect him.

And it’s not just the media. Former Trump fixer Michael Cohen told Congress that he’s concerned Trump wouldn’t take part in a peaceful transition of power should he lose. And no less than Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi revealed that she’s concerned that if Trump doesn’t lose by a big enough margin in 2020, he won’t give up power.

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Have the Mass Arrests Started Yet?

You might have heard that on March 24th, Attorney General William Barr released a short summary of the (presumably) much longer final report from Special Counsel Robert Mueller. The finding, at least that we’ve been told: Trump and his campaign did not actively collude with Russian interests, and that there wasn’t enough evidence to either charge or exonerate Trump with obstruction of justice.

Obviously, this doesn’t end the many other investigations currently looking into pretty much everything Trump has ever done. And there’s a metric ton of litigation to follow on from Barr’s letter. But to Trump/Russia true believers, even just this cursory summary is a crushing blow. And to Trump supporters and Russia skeptics, it’s total victory.

And to QAnon supporters? It’s nothing less than the first step in the final destruction of the deep state, leading to centuries of secrets being brought to light, darkness banished, evil punished, and of course, lots and lots of arrests.

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