There’s Got to Be a Morning After the Midterms

In case you haven’t been paying attention to the news, the United States is about to hold its quadrennial midterm election, where the entire House of Representatives, one-third of the Senate, thousands of local legislature seats, and numerous governorships are all up for grabs.

It’s being called the most important vote of our lifetimes, a hyperbolic phrase applied to every recent election.

Liberals think it’s going to be our last chance to stop Donald Trump from “consolidating power,” rolling back our freedoms, putting soldiers in the streets, mass incarceration of enemies in FEMA Camps, and executing his final plan to declare himself President God King for Life.

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Every Robert Mueller Indictment, Ranked

Special Counsel Robert Mueller has returned indictments against 19 people so far. While he’s got a long way to go before breaking Watergate’s record of 69 indictments (nice), Mueller has also nailed more people much faster.

They are a relatively random collection of Trump staffers and Russian trolls, most of whom have never met. But it’s important that we understand who they are, what they did, and how much they’ll mean to the grander case against Trump that Mueller is pursuing.

So I ranked them all in order of importance, and of their role in the Trump/Russia fiasco. Ranking bad people is fun!

19. Vadim Vladimirovich Podkopae – A low-ranking researcher and shitposter at the troll farm. If you were arguing with a broken-English Twitter account, it might have been this guy.

18. Gleb Igorevich Vasilchenko – Another rank and file Internet Research Agency poster who pretended to be American and dumped crap on social media. Meh.

17. Vladimir Venkov – Yet another staff troll at the Internet Research Agency. Apparently, he’s not cool enough to get his middle name used in the indictment.

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