QAnon may be posting with the frequency of Halley’s Comet (not at all, then a bunch, then not at all), but the industry of merchandise makers, book writers, swag producers, and shirt printers is alive and well. The wagon train of Q-branded merch goes on even as the movement splinters – seemingly finding new ways to slap a flaming Q or a Matrix-font WWG1WGA on just about anything.
A search on Amazon for QAnon brings up over 1,000 items; while a search for WWG1WGA brings up over 500. Most are simple t-shirts, bumper stickers, mugs, or an avalanche of self-published and anonymous books. But a few are so weird, so useless, so obnoxious, and/or so expensive that they deserve further scrutiny.
All of these are publicly available, and just waiting for YOU to hit “buy” on:
In case you needed to be reminded of the need to keep your eyes on the deep state while you’re getting ready for the morning, or just for scaring the hell out of anyone who uses your bathroom, here are “100% Polyester Shower Curtains” that “Will Not Harm You and Your Family’s Health.” I couldn’t figure out if the giant flaming Q faces toward or away from the shower head, and I can’t decide which is worse. A perfect tarp to be wrapped in after the deep state busts your door down and Arkancides you for being woke. It also makes a great birthday gift.
What You Do With It: Proclaim to party guests that you are insane, or keep your mind on the “great awakening” while doing your morning business
Cost: $20.99 + $3.99 shipping
Sample Review: None
There are quite a few QAnon/Trump coins out there, from an actual silver bullion coin that presumably has some value, to the $45 coin that disgraced televangelist/survival bucket shill Jim Bakker has been hawking. But no QAnon coin seems more useless and made for the influencer generation than this one, sold via PayPal and coming with a free QAnon wristband. It has no monetary value, and isn’t made of precious metals. It’s literally just a large disc with “Q” printed on it. But it comes with a free wristband!
What You Do With It: Coaster? Put it in a frame and gaze wistfully at the money you wasted?
Sample Review: None
Beyond the truly terrible QAnon book that became an Amazon bestseller (and sparked a giant slap fight in the movement,) there are dozens of other QAnon books out there, most of which repackage the same information and are written by anonymous authors, making little impact. So why is Mr. Aberdeen’s book being singled out here? Because of this:
It’s the most expensive QAnon item on Amazon, and nothing comes close. Why is it so expensive? Is it printed in gold? Signed by Q him/herself? Does it actually contain real predictions that have come true? I can’t tell, but at least a few people have bought it, because it ranks #7525 in the “Christian Social Issues Category.”
What You Do With It: For that kind of money, you probably wear white gloves and seal it in Lucite
Cost: See above
Sample Reviews: None. Did you buy this book? Did you feel like you got your money’s worth? Let me know!
There’s a lot going on here. A cross, a flag, a heart, WWG1WGA, the infinity symbol, some fake diamonds, and a Q all put together in a necklace that’s “perfectly suitable for women.” You can show everyone just how much you worship Jesus, America, bling, and Q all at once; ticking off pretty much every box at your next bingo game or family mediation session.
What You Do With It: Wear it with pride, though not if you have an allergy to zinc.
Cost: $17.99 + $4 shipping
Sample Review: None.
“You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweat pants?” Jerry Seinfeld once rhetorically asked George Costanza. “You’re telling the world ‘I give up.’” But QAnon is all about not losing hope in the triumph of good over evil – and that’s what these boys sweatpants do, ensuring your sons have comfort and ease of movement before they grab their muskets and head off to the public execution of the traitors. Also, the giant “Q” directs attention to the crotch area, which is ironic for a movement supposedly dedicated to annihilating child sex trafficking rings.
What You Do With It: Do your research in soft fleece that keeps you comfortable and warm
Sample Reviews: None
This is exactly what it is. An acrylic block with a picture of Trump, a giant Q, a giant eagle, and…a stuffed bear. Because why not?
What You Do With It: Look at it in all its acrylic block-ness
Sample Reviews: “The acrylic block is amazing. It was made very well…looked like a totally quality item and the artwork from the artist looked fantastic!” – Erica
No overview of Q merch would be complete without a Punisher skull, that 1974 comic book logo first used by Marvel Comics vigilante Frank Castle, and later by the “white American death cult.” If you’re what the Military Times describes as “an ISIS hunter, a certified Taliban hitman-for-hire, a criminally excessive hair gel-lathering, Oakley sunglasses-wearing Spartan warrior. You talk using only military terminology that no one who has spent even 10 minutes in uniform would ever use because, after all, pain is just weakness leaving the body, and you need to pop smoke from work in time for chow, roger that?” then you probably have a bunch of these skulls slapped on your tacticool gear. And nothing is more tacticool than a Q skull in good ol’ red white and blue, tacked on your wall for all libtards to shit themselves in fear at the sight of.
What You Do With It: Show the world that although you’ve probably never served, you’re definitely willing to string up a few deep staters in the damp Cuban twilight
Cost: $130 + $14.99 shipping
Sample reviews: None, but only for opsec purposes
Enjoyment and Edification
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