Let’s Put the Q in QVC: The Weirdest QAnon Merchandise

QAnon may be posting with the frequency of Halley’s Comet (not at all, then a bunch, then not at all), but the industry of merchandise makers, book writers, swag producers, and shirt printers is alive and well. The wagon train of Q-branded merch goes on even as the movement splinters – seemingly finding new ways to slap a flaming Q or a Matrix-font WWG1WGA on just about anything.

A search on Amazon for QAnon brings up over 1,000 items; while a search for WWG1WGA brings up over 500. Most are simple t-shirts, bumper stickers, mugs, or an avalanche of self-published and anonymous books. But a few are so weird, so useless, so obnoxious, and/or so expensive that they deserve further scrutiny.

All of these are publicly available, and just waiting for YOU to hit “buy” on:

MAHENSHANGM QAnon are You Paying Attention Shower Curtain Bathroom Decor Set 60 X 70 Inch Curtains Bath Set

In case you needed to be reminded of the need to keep your eyes on the deep state while you’re getting ready for the morning, or just for scaring the hell out of anyone who uses your bathroom, here are “100% Polyester Shower Curtains” that “Will Not Harm You and Your Family’s Health.” I couldn’t figure out if the giant flaming Q faces toward or away from the shower head, and I can’t decide which is worse. A perfect tarp to be wrapped in after the deep state busts your door down and Arkancides you for being woke. It also makes a great birthday gift.

What You Do With It: Proclaim to party guests that you are insane, or keep your mind on the “great awakening” while doing your morning business

Cost: $20.99 + $3.99 shipping

Sample Review: None

Q/Coin Silver Black

There are quite a few QAnon/Trump coins out there, from an actual silver bullion coin that presumably has some value, to the $45 coin that disgraced televangelist/survival bucket shill Jim Bakker has been hawking. But no QAnon coin seems more useless and made for the influencer generation than this one, sold via PayPal and coming with a free QAnon wristband. It has no monetary value, and isn’t made of precious metals. It’s literally just a large disc with “Q” printed on it. But it comes with a free wristband!

What You Do With It: Coaster? Put it in a frame and gaze wistfully at the money you wasted?

Cost: $24.99

Sample Review: None

“Q-Anon” by John Aberdeen

Beyond the  truly terrible QAnon book that became an Amazon bestseller (and sparked a giant slap fight in the movement,) there are dozens of other QAnon books out there, most of which repackage the same information and are written by anonymous authors, making little impact. So why is Mr. Aberdeen’s book being singled out here? Because of this:

qanon paperback

It’s the most expensive QAnon item on Amazon, and nothing comes close. Why is it so expensive? Is it printed in gold? Signed by Q him/herself? Does it actually contain real predictions that have come true? I can’t tell, but at least a few people have bought it, because it ranks #7525 in the “Christian Social Issues Category.”

What You Do With It: For that kind of money, you probably wear white gloves and seal it in Lucite

Cost: See above

Sample Reviews: None. Did you buy this book? Did you feel like you got your money’s worth? Let me know!

qanon pendat

M100% Cross Love Heart Infinity God 3D Print Jewelry QANON, Where We Go One Flag Cross Pendant Necklace

There’s a lot going on here. A cross, a flag, a heart, WWG1WGA, the infinity symbol, some fake diamonds, and a Q all put together in a necklace that’s “perfectly suitable for women.” You can show everyone just how much you worship Jesus, America, bling, and Q all at once; ticking off pretty much every box at your next bingo game or family mediation session.

What You Do With It: Wear it with pride, though not if you have an allergy to zinc.

Cost: $17.99 + $4 shipping

Sample Review: None.

qanon pants

Boys Sweatpants Classic QANON The Big Q Joggers Sport Training Pants Trousers Black

“You know the message you’re sending out to the world with these sweat pants?” Jerry Seinfeld once rhetorically asked George Costanza. “You’re telling the world ‘I give up.’” But QAnon is all about not losing hope in the triumph of good over evil – and that’s what these boys sweatpants do, ensuring your sons have comfort and ease of movement before they grab their muskets and head off to the public execution of the traitors. Also, the giant “Q” directs attention to the crotch area, which is ironic for a movement supposedly dedicated to annihilating child sex trafficking rings.

What You Do With It: Do your research in soft fleece that keeps you comfortable and warm

Cost: $34.99

Sample Reviews: None

qanon block

QAnon – Q + Trump Great Awakening WWG1WGA Acrylic Block

This is exactly what it is. An acrylic block with a picture of Trump, a giant Q, a giant eagle, and…a stuffed bear. Because why not?

What You Do With It: Look at it in all its acrylic block-ness

Cost: $25

Sample Reviews: “The acrylic block is amazing. It was made very well…looked like a totally quality item and the artwork from the artist looked fantastic!” – Erica

qanon skull

24 Inch QAnon Punisher Metal Plaque Patriot

No overview of Q merch would be complete without a Punisher skull, that 1974 comic book logo first used by Marvel Comics vigilante Frank Castle, and later by the “white American death cult.” If you’re what the Military Times describes as “an ISIS hunter, a certified Taliban hitman-for-hire, a criminally excessive hair gel-lathering, Oakley sunglasses-wearing Spartan warrior. You talk using only military terminology that no one who has spent even 10 minutes in uniform would ever use because, after all, pain is just weakness leaving the body, and you need to pop smoke from work in time for chow, roger that?” then you probably have a bunch of these skulls slapped on your tacticool gear. And nothing is more tacticool than a Q skull in good ol’ red white and blue, tacked on your wall for all libtards to shit themselves in fear at the sight of.

What You Do With It: Show the world that although you’ve probably never served, you’re definitely willing to string up a few deep staters in the damp Cuban twilight

Cost: $130 + $14.99 shipping

Sample reviews: None, but only for opsec purposes

Enjoyment and Edification

If you want to support more work that debunks and demystifies conspiracy culture and politics, I’d love to have your support. I'm not actually a Rothschild, after all.

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2 thoughts on “Let’s Put the Q in QVC: The Weirdest QAnon Merchandise

  1. Just FYI: 1. The Aberdeen book? $596 USED; LIKE NEW. NEW? $1018.68
    Even more insane? It’s *54* PAGES!!
    Is there I treasure map included? Also, i’ll Bet there’s some esoteric numerology significance to the “$1018.68”. Great minds want to know!
    PS My daughter sent me, what looks like, some kind of Trump voodoo doll a few weeks ago. Painted on this 10 inch stuffed caricature doll, is his signature “far too long red tie”, decorated with WWG1WGA and a Q at the bottom.
    Oh, it’s “soaked” in catnip spray…yes, it’s a cat toy.! 😹 I have no idea where she got it, i’ll Ask her tomorrow. I sewed a couple of jingle “balls” on it; both for inappropriate humor…and my Leela won’t play with it unless it makes noises…😁

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